Software Team Sociology: Team Building Exercises

Rethinking Team Building: Small Habits, Big Impact

When most people think of team building, their minds jump straight to full-day off-sites or multi-day retreats. While these events can be memorable, they’re often expensive and time-consuming—and their effects may not last. In contrast, something as simple as a five-minute icebreaker at the start of a meeting or a brief gratitude exercise at the end can help foster stronger team bonds—especially when done consistently. Regular, small practices tend to build trust and connection more reliably than one-off events.

My Foundations for Team Building

Beyond icebreakers and appreciation activities, the cornerstones of my team-building approach are fortnightly brown bag presentations and regular retrospectives. If a company doesn’t already have these two rituals in place, I make it a priority to introduce them.

Why? Because I’ve learned—sometimes the hard way—that omitting these creates a disconnect that’s hard to repair later. One of the main reasons I’m so committed to professional development sessions and regular reflection is that the absence of these practices has led to some of the least effective team dynamics I’ve experienced.

The Limits of Big Offsites

While immersive, longer-form events can be fun and energizing, they’re not without pitfalls:

One-and-done doesn’t last: Sustainable growth and culture change require regular reinforcement. A single event, no matter how great, can fade quickly without follow-up.
The “What happens in Vegas…” effect: People may open up in an offsite setting, but those breakthroughs often don’t translate back into their day-to-day work environment.

That said, I’ve seen long-form activities work well—especially when they’re intentionally designed for learning and engagement. Some of my go-to formats include:

XP Game: Drawing – A powerful way to explore the challenges of verbal-only communication (original source has unfortunately disappeared).
Survival Ranking Game – Great for surfacing whether group problem-solving is inclusive. If they do worse as a group than as individuals, then it is likely that the loud voices are drowning the quiet ones.
Ball Passing Exercise aka The Ball Point Game – A hands-on exercise for showing the dangers of overloading the team.
Improv Games – Lighthearted, energising, and effective for encouraging mindfulness, adaptability, creativity and listening.
Crazy 8s and Brainstorming Exercises – Excellent for unlocking creativity and divergent thinking.
Exploratory Testing with Cards – Adds structure and spontaneity to QA or exploratory testing sessions.

Icebreakers That Work

Icebreakers don’t have to be elaborate to be effective. Some of the most powerful ones are deceptively simple:

“Introduce Yourself” – A classic, especially if framed with a creative twist (e.g., share your superpower or your favorite failure).
Two Truths and a Lie – A reliable crowd-pleaser that gets people laughing and learning about each other.
String Theory – One person shares a unique fact; others raise their hands if they share that trait, and the next speaker is chosen from the group with raised hands. A great way to find unexpected common ground.

I have also been known to use

Would You Rather…
Pose a light-hearted “would you rather” question, like “Coffee or tea?” or “Beach or mountains?”
If You Could…
Ask questions like: “If you could have any superpower, what would it be?”
Emoji Mood Check
Everyone posts or says an emoji that represents their mood.
What Are You Listening To / Reading / Watching?
Participants share one media item they're enjoying.

Gratitude Shout-Out
You could use one the practices listed below as your ice-breaker.

Gratitude and Appreciation Practices

Simple rituals of appreciation can strengthen team culture and morale. Here are some ideas I’ve found effective:

One-Word Gratitude Check-In – Each person shares one word reflecting something they’re grateful for today.
“What Went Well” Reflection – Everyone shares one success and credits someone who contributed.
Silent Gratitude Minute – A moment of quiet reflection on people or events the team is thankful for.
Meeting MVP – Nominate someone who helped move the meeting or project forward.
Start or End on a High – Each team member shares a recent highlight or win.
Appreciation Shout-Outs – Open floor for informal callouts of kind or helpful actions.
“I Noticed...” Moments – Share specific observations about positive behaviors or contributions.
Appreciation Cards or E-Cards – Simple written notes that go a long way.
Appreciation Circle (There are a few variations)

Gratitude Round-Robin – Go around the group giving thanks to others, with or without a theme.
Sticky Notes Shout-Outs – Quick digital or physical thank-you notes shared at once.
Hot Seat Appreciation – Everyone shares something they value about one chosen team member (rotate each meeting).
Gratitude Chain – One person gives thanks, then passes the mic or speaking totem to someone else to continue the chain.

When Team Building Backfires

Team building can give you bad outcomes —especially when it’s used to push a hidden agenda or lacks authenticity. If an exercise feels political, patronising, or performative, it can do more harm than good.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

If you collect feedback after a decision has been made (especially one that impacts the team), it sends a strong signal that the feedback and the feedback givers are not valued.
Gathering feedback before decisions—and acting on it—builds trust and invites real engagement.

Some cautionary tales:

A Mid-Project Retrospective Gone Awry – The team gave honest feedback, only to have it dismissed. Morale dropped immediately.
Scavenger Hunt Misstep – Individual contributors were assigned managers as team leaders, reinforcing hierarchy and undercutting organic leadership. It left a strong impression that leadership behaviour and initiative were not traits that the company valued or desired in Individual contributors.
The Company Race Debacle – The CEO contradicted the organiser’s rules during his speech at the start of the event, causing confusion and a split in participation.

Final Thought

True team building isn’t about grand gestures—it’s about consistent habits. Done well, small, regular practices build the kind of connection and trust that flashy offsites often can’t.