Software Team Sociology: Giving Feedback (Part 3)

Thursday, July 24

Giving Feedback (Part 3) - Taking Your Time

Part 1

Why Getting Feedback Right Matters More Than You Think

Part 2

Feedback on People Skills

Part 3 - This post

Taking Your Time

s There Enough Time to Breathe?

It’s not just about whether managers have time to give feedback—staff need time to receive and process it.

Running a team at 100% capacity is a false economy. Key people become unavailable when others need help. Processes snarl as staff create workarounds for missing inputs. Quality suffers. Services break. Customers are unhappy. Revenue suffers.

If your people have 16 hours of work to do in an 8-hour day, the first thing to go is communication—and with it, feedback.

Feedback Isn’t a Standalone Activity

Feedback is just one part of a much larger communication ecosystem.

If expectations aren’t met but no one shared what was expected—is that fair?
If veteran staff don’t train juniors, how can performance gaps shrink?
If subject matter experts or stakeholders are unreachable, how can work align to needs?

Teams need time and space for:

Briefing and debriefing
Coaching and support
Asking for and offering help
Co-working and handovers

That takes intention. And time—for both speaker and listener.

Summary of Key Principles

Timeliness matters. Feedback should be part of regular communication—not a rare event.
Specificity beats generality. Talk about behaviours, not character.
Curiosity builds trust. Feedback should open dialogue, not shut it down.
Safety is non-negotiable. People need to feel safe to speak, ask, and change.
You’re not too busy. Make time—for the speaker and the listener.
Start small. The earlier you address issues, the easier they are to fix.

Other Resources

Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well by Douglas Stone & Sheila Heen

Flips the script: it focuses on how to receive feedback, even when it’s poorly delivered, unfair, or unwanted. Essential reading for both givers and receivers.

Read the book.

Watch the TED Talk.

Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen, Roger Fisher

Goes deep into the emotional undercurrents behind tough talks—including feedback—and how to navigate them gracefully.

Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High by Kerry Patterson, Stephen R. Covey, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler

Practical techniques for staying calm, respectful, and effective during emotionally charged feedback moments.

Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity by Kim Malone Scott